Come play inside a writer's brain, scary!

Forget the lords a-leaping and maids a-milking, they’re only distractions to keep writers from a-writing. In any case,  you’d need a New York Times bestseller to afford them. An annual survey by pnc (www.pncchristmasindex.com) values the whole deal at over $24,000, more if you buy online. Shipping live birds isn’t cheap! Add in the expenses for all those lords, maids, and livestock, make that two NYT bestsellers. Here’s my more realistic 12 Days list for writers.

~ For my wonderful agent, Linda Tate, with love and thanks for all the mumble-something years of support. ~

On the first day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Two book proposals, and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 4th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Five months of plotting, four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Six weeks to deadline, five months of outlines,

four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Seven procrastinations, six weeks to finish, five months of outlines,

Four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

And her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 8th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Eight plots resisting, seven procrastinations, six weeks to deadline,

five months of outlines, four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests,

two book proposals, and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 9th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Nine drafts completed, eight plots resisting, seven procrastinations,

six weeks to finish, five months of outlines, four speaking gigs,

three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Ten copy edits, nine drafts completed, eight plots resisting,

seven procrastinations, six weeks to deadline, five months of outlines,

four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 11th day of Christmas, my agent sent to me

Eleven nervous breakdowns, ten copy edits, nine drafts completed,

eight plots resisting, seven procrastinations, six weeks to deadline,

five months of outlines, four speaking gigs, three manuscript requests,

two book proposals, and her thoughts on a novel from me.

On the 12th day of Christmas my agent sent to me

Twelve months of waiting, eleven nervous breakdowns, ten copy edits,

nine drafts completed, eight plots resisting, seven procrastinations,

six weeks to deadline, five months of outlines, four speaking gigs,

three manuscript requests, two book proposals,

and her thoughts on a novel from me.

Would you recognise any of these “gifts” on your list? Love to hear your comments.

Valerie

on Twitter @valerieparv

and Facebook

http://www.valerieparv.com

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Comments on: "The 12 Days of Writing at Christmas" (7)

  1. LOL!! Recognise them all, but only SEVEN procrastinations??

    Great post 🙂

  2. ebonymckenna said:

    Eleven nervous breakdowns!
    Love it.

  3. Brava! Brava! Encore! Encore!

  4. Hi Valerie, I read somewhere that the 12 days of Christmas was a pagan activity, still in use during the time of the Anglo-Saxons in Little Britain, as it was known then. I am not sure what the Christian reinterpretation is based on. Computer says it has early Babylonian roots and is a celebration of the birth or rebirth of the sun god on December 25th. And it makes me wonder where Santa Claus fits into the birth of a Christian god. Hmm. Apparently the guy handing out Christmas gifts on 25 December thousands of years ago was called Nimrod. Hey, and what about Easter eggs? Back to Sunday School I guess. Naughty boy, me.

  5. Hi Peter, according to Bart Simpson, the real meaning of Christmas is about the birth of Santa. Not sure what says about Easter Eggs. Back to Sunday School with you indeed.

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